Tuesday, August 21, 2018

KISSPERIN


Kiss me darling
Coz I am sick
Hold me close
And let me weep
This pain inside me
Is beyond compare
Only your touch
Can make me heal
Whisper to me
Some words of love
I'm just a boy
Please don't get mad
All I need now
Is love and care
I will be grateful
To you I swear
All I need now
Is some medicine
So please shower me
With your kissperin. Bow!

MARVIN & THE LOST CAUSE OF CPP-NPA


I was first year college at that time. I was ecstatic to see my first article printed center fold in one issue of our student university paper "The Quill". The editors liked my writing entitled " In search of modern hero".
I went to the Quill office and was happy to bring more copies with me. I felt too proud of my self as I went out of the office.
Then one guy came to me and invited me to a little forum. He looked very serious yet friendly. He was just 21 years old. He had this low and calm voices thats a bit strange.
The next day I was in a room with several students in uniform for the "forum". All of them are strangers. All are innocent looling too. There I saw the guy who invited me the other day doing some kind of lecture. I sat for several minutes and noticed something familiar. I've heard the lecture before. Back in my home town where NPA's have the biggest nest all over the Philippines.
I raised my hand and ask the lecturer: "From where did you learn this lecture? The last time I heard this lecture is from my hometown as highschool student and this was done to us by NPA rebels". I said it loud enough that it stunned everyone in the room, except the lecturer himself.
The forum was suddenly cut and most attendees were sent outside. I learned that about 6 of the attendees are back-ups and observers. Most of them are from other big universities in Cebu and holds big position in the League of Filipino Students, or LFS. Most of them were 20 years old at most. I was 23 years old at that time and was eager to lecture them how lucky they are to be in school and they should not waste their parents money i joining leftist organization. I inquired if they are all communists. They said they are not.
Then a 3-day debate followed. I tried to talk them out of the organization. Only to learn little by little that they are infact already deep rooted and well connected to the CPP-NPA legal fronts. One is the president of Anak Bayan, the other one an officer of Gabriela and the rest are all connected legal fronts.Me on the other hand was not empty handed. I told my real life story of growing up where real batlles, real killings and real sufferings happen becuase of insurgency. It was ugly I told them. I also told them how communist favors recruiting bright and fresh university minds like them to be the future leaders of communist movement.
I read a book (back when I was still a taxi driver in Manila) written by a British MI5 deputy director Mr. Wright who narrated thedeep penetration of communists into the England's school campuses. Many British governmentent officials and military Generals were silent communists he exposed. That book "spy catcher" laid out the communist blue print of recruting new communist in top universities. Joma Sison was recruited and indoctrinated inside our very own state university, UP if I must say.
But After 3 days of debate, we agreed to disagree. They were all hardened leftist and ripe for adventure in the movement. Marvin admitted to me he is already a communist and I stopped arguing. Communism is like a religion. It requires deep faith and belief, regardless. A communist believes that the only way to achieve lasting peace in his country is through a bloody revolution. Who am I to tell him he's wrong?
We parted ways and maintained contacts and respect to one another. I joined The Quill later as an officer but never get to the top because I wasn't a true leftist to my collegue's standard. Most university papers are controlled and dictated by some people "up there". But I wrote plenty of jokes, poems and short love stories in college and got good feed backs. All I really wanted was to finish college and have fun writing.
2 years later, Marvin died in a clash with military in Bohol. His death was headlined in news papers. I know Marvin was proud to die in the battle field. His conviction was deep and unwavering. But his was a lost cause.
Look at Joma Sison. Look at Satur Ocampo. Look at Popoy Lagman. All of them used the movement for thier personal gains.
Hundreds of thousands of leftist students were recruited, used and misled by an ideology never understood even by its leaders. Most were just pushed by curiousity, adventurism, hatred against corruption and even lack if personal dreams.
Communism is a long dead idea. All that's left is camaraderie, belongingness and brotherhood for those who fought with valid causes against oppression.
For a long time the CPP-NPA preached that the US imperialism is our enemy. I agree with it. That we need true nationalism to grow as a nation. I agree with it. That we need true identity as a people. I agree with it.
Me and Marvin have many things in common. The only difference is that, he went too far and paid with his life for a lost cause.
We don't need Communism. All we need is Nationalism.
Under Duterte's administration, I believe true nationalism is coming. But the CPP-NPA and US Imperialist are colluding to put him down. Good thing most of the Filipinos are on his side.

BORN TO FLY


I thought frequent flying will soon become a thing of my past. I was too fast to conclude, I guess. Not that I hate flying, I simply preferred once a month plane ride to keep my excitement up.
But somethings cooking up. I guess I'll be flying more in the next several months to the biggest cities of Mindanao. I welcome the fun and adventure of course.
But here's the thing, if flying is really my fate, then I better do it big time.
I already decided to visit Japan and Taiwan this year. In 2019, I will visit again Germany France and England. US is not in my list so far. Canada maybe, in the next 5 years.
My boss already approved all these trips. That's as long as I shoulder all the expenses. But my wallet objected! Its long been empty, lonely and full of reciepts that cannot be reimbursed.
But who knows? I was born to fly!
For now, I'll be happy criss-crossing the country for free. When my time to criss-cross the whole world comes, I write again complaining.
Then I'll start wishing to fly to the moon and Mars. He he he.

REFLECTION


Each one of us is competing in a secret race. A race we keep only to our selves. A race close to our hearts. A race we don't want to admit to others.
Being in a race is healthy. It keeps us motivated. It keeps us alert. It keeps us alive and aware of ourselves all the time.
Who we are racing or competing with is another thing. In many cases, we compete with our siblings. Sometimes with friends. Some with nieghbors. Most with the enemies.
Some are racing to get rich. Some to get famous. Some to get a high paying job. Some to go abroad. Many are simply racing to be ahead of material things against thier secret rivals.
We don't really need to admit it. But we all compete for selfish reasons. We race to get something our inner selves crave for.
We crave for recognition. We crave for equality. We crave for admiration. We crave for attention. We crave for respect. We crave for love. Sadly, many of us will not get them. Not because we don't deserve it, but because we deny that it's what we are looking for to achieve satisfaction and inner peace. Self satisfaction is the main prize for every race.
One day, I will learn to quit the race. All I need is more maturity and wisdom. The more we compete, the more we loss sight of what'smore important in life. That is contentment in what we have and inner peace that makes our lives happier.
But not yet. Not yet.
I still dream of one day I will wake up a millionaire. I still dream of roaming around the world for a month long vacation. I still dream of resting to my own big house. I still dream of driving my own luxury car for the whole world to see.
For now, I will settle for wisdom and maturity. It's free and no one's interested. He he.
Good day everyone!

CHASING HAPPINESS


For the longest time in my adult life, I can only count with my fingers where I can truly say I felt happy. Most of them involves an interaction with my loved ones. The rest are just pleasures.
Some little happiness that comes to me every once in a while came from messages of strangers appreciating my writings, specially kids who used them for school projects. Other than that, I always find my self seeking pleasures like watching movie, eating something delicious or going to nice places worthy of selfie.
Yes, I can clearly distinguish happiness from pleasure. Happiness is deep, lasting and fulfilling. Pleasure is shallow, temporary and addictive. Happiness makes you contented and settled. Pleasure makes you want more and restless. Happiness normally involves achievements, idea, passion and with people you love. Pleasure normally involves money, entertainment, scenery, food and drinks and just anybody else. Happiness has something to do with who you are inside. Pleasure has something to do with what you want people to think of what you are. But many of us confuse happiness with pleasure. Only to feel empty inside later on.
A cheap cup of coffee may not be classy. But if you share it with someone dear with a light and funny conversation, it becomes priceless and memorable. Much better than a starbucks cup of coffee with a known politician you took selfie with.
A meal of sweet potatoes and boiled cardava bananas shared with old classmates in your home town is happiness. Much better than dinner buffet in a 5 star hotel with fellow professionals in a national conference.
The trick to happiness is being real, being you and being with people you truly care. Any place, any food, any time and any set up will do.
One day, I will open a clinic to cater for people who cannot find happiness. And I will be my first client. I, me and myself. The topic will be, what makes me think I found happiness with that cup of cheap coffee in my selfie below?
I did not. I was merely looking at a pretty photographer who looked at me as if she found happiness in me. I guess she did.

BRU CE LEE & ME

When people hear the name Bruce Lee, they immediately think of the iconic martial arts movie star who died at the age of 33. Bruce Lee finished only four (4) martial films in a span of 3 to 4 years, but his influence to martial art's world is beyond one's imagination. His mysterious death, his fame and his unforgettable movie scenes had elevated him to an Icon, a Legend, a Master and god-like image to many people who are into martial arts.

At the age of 16, I started collecting books of Bruce Lee. I grew up in a small town where little kids love martial arts heroes like Jacky Chan, Van Dam and Bruce to name a few. But Bruce Lee to me is the most impressive. His moves are super fast. His facial expression were very intense. And his fighting scenes are well choreographed.

One day, I stumbled upon a book. The title was Tao of Jet Kune Do. I bought it. I read it. I understood it. And slowly absorbed its lessons as a way of life. In that book, I learned that Bruce Lee was more of a Philosopher and a visionary first, then a martial artist second. His display of martial skills are but results of his deep understanding of one truth: That a human being is a living, constantly changing, capable of learning and has individual traits thats unique and totally different from others.

Bruce Lee had plenty of message to the world. He told very martial artist to absorb what is useful and reject what is not useful in any martial arts style. He told the world that Martial Arts is a never ending quest of truth of the inner and outer being of humans. He told the world that Martial Arts in an expression of one's self, meaning you should know your self first before you can express your inner being to others. Bruce Lee told every martial artist to listen to thier inner being first before follwing blindly to the command of any Martial Arts instructor, Sensie or Master.

I love all the movies of Bruce Lee. In fact, I've watch them all countless times. But his idea and philosphy in life has more meaning and impact to me. It shaped the way I think and how to approach life as it comes. "Be like water my friend" Bruce used to say. When you put the water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you put the water into a tea pot, it becomes the tea pot. Water is formless. Yet it can adopt any form. Water is soft. But it can can destroy anything when under pressure.

Bruce Lee also said that every living thing, be it human, animal or plant, has a weakness. Take time to study its weakneses and you can defeat it eventually. This is the most important single lesson I learned from him. He reaveled the true trick to success. Patience, diligence and the will to conquer is the slowly but surely way to succeed in a fight or life. I already planted this idea into my heart the first time I read Bruce Lee's writing.

Sadly, Bruce Lee died young. He was killed by people who didn't like him destroying the myths and lies that forever chains the world of martial arts. Many legends died for revealing the truth. Plato died too for telling the truth. John Lennon died the same way. JFK died for the same reason. All of them being intelligent, visionaries, bold and true. But thier idea and legends live on.

Me? I'm just a fan of those legends whom I believe, I share common traits with. (Ehem) I am almost intelligent, I am almost visionary, I am almost bold and I am entirely true. Yes, I am almost like them. But among them all, Bruce Lee is the one that's nearest to my heart. We are both from Asia, we are both 5'7" in height and we are both handsome. Anyone who who disagrees with me will get a lightning sidekick from Bruce Lee and Me. WATTAAWWWW!!!

DYING FOR ATTENTION




There's a little child in each one of us. The little child that craves for the love, attention and care. When were all just little babies that's cute, fragile and huggable, everyone love us, care for us, kiss us all the time. Being a baby the most wonderful stage in our lives. We don't do anything but everyone love us. Just one cute smile is all it take to get attention of the world.
As we grow older, that attention slowly fades fades away and turns into something demanding. Our parents, siblings, neighbors starts demanding from us to give something in return. We need to help the household chores, obey thier wishes and contribute to our home's well being before we are recognize of our values.
Then we learn some tricks along the way. We learn to use skills, smiles, talents and stunts to get people's attention. Especially the one we like or secretly loved. But not all tricks does the job. Some are lucky to easily get noticed. Some are just cursed regardless of what they do, even to the point of killing one's self.
We all need attention. We all need admiration. We all need love. Without them, life is meaningless. The only problem is that, only a few knows this little truth : Give attention to others first and you'll start getting noticed by them.
On a daily basis, millions of people spend countless hours in front of a mirror making sure they look handsome or beautiful before they go out. Yet only a few truly make an effort to appreciate other people on how they look.
Theres too many beautiful and handsome people out there dying to get noticed. If you give them your true appreciation and attention, they are ready give back and shower you with all the love and care in the world. But No One really cares. Everyone is busy looking at the mirror appreciating thier selves.
In my picture below, I'm not trying to get one's attention. I was trying to climb up to this concrete ship-like structure so I can truly appreciate the view on top. The world and environment needs attention too. When you do that, it will make you more attractive, good looking and cute too. You don't believe me? Ask the lady photographer who took this shot. She'll readily tell you that I almost look like Jack in Titanic movie. Then I asked her: "If I jump, would you jump too?" She smiled and said: "Sige. Pero ikaw una." I behaved after that.